so you’ll understand the way i am
i happen to have two jobs.
i should be doing them.
but instead, i’m blogging.
i dunno. i woke up with a menacing head ache this morning. i had eight hours of sleep. and i didn’t even drink last night.
so what is this paralyzing head ache about? argh. frustrating.
i’ve had three tylenol caps. and they’re not working.
seriously.
mc dreamy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i need to see a head doctor. let’s hope he turns out to be as good looking as derek.)
I know that I’ve been away for a while, stuck in the daily grind of finding a life and making a living. It’s been difficult prioritizing, falling asleep, even just standing still.
At the end of my 15 hour work day, I sometimes wonder what the fuss is all about. Why do we multi-task till our brains explode, why do we run at break neck speed to get to the finish line of this rat race, why do we slug it out till we’re black and blue and bleeding?
People I know are changing jobs, getting married, moving abroad. Ah, change. They say it’s good. Err… Hmm…
Here’s a brief run-down of what has been happening in my corner of the universe:
1) I am still with the government– albeit, now with more responsibilities. My friends are betting on how long my affair with technocracy and development work would last. I mean, I’m suppose to become a film maker, a cleo awardee, a hyper celebrity blogger, a media mogul. I dunno. At the moment, this thing with technocracy– it’s not an affair. With the effort that I put into my work, I’m not merely flirting with the cause of social development, I’m married to it.
2) I’m back to drinking coffee. Yay! My tea drinking habit– that was an affair which lasted five years. Now I’ve returned to hard core caffeine. Oh , and I am chugging energy drinks as well. Sugar free red bull is ok, but lipovitan ira is a staple. Stay away from cheap energy drinks– they’re a waste.
3) I’ve discovered a new sandbox. The fort strip is fast becoming a favorite. But greenbelt still tops the charts.
4) This global economic meltdown is scaring the s*it out of me. Not that I have a lot of money in the stock market, it’s just that, like any ordinary mortal, I’m afraid of the unknown, the unfamiliar, the unexplained. In my attempts to understand this end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it, I found this article titled “subprime crisis and economic meltdown for dummies.” Imagine my frustration when after days and days of reading it, I still don’t have a clue of the what, why, how, who, when, where of this blood bath at wall street. Perhaps I should find something that says: “subprime crisis and economic meltdown for RETARDS.
5) Five months of not being able to write my thoughts out– I’ve neglected ambatorama.com and sittingamuck at blogspot– and this is the result. Sheesh, I can’t even write the way I used to.
6) I have really long hair. With bangs. I’ve realized the aesthetic functions of eyelashes. Except for lipstick, I’ve stopped wearing make up. I’ve developed new allergies and I hate it that I can’t eat chicken if I don’t have celestamine tablets in tow.
7) I now like basketball. Yay! I have a couple DVDs on NBA’s best moments. NBA rocks!
So am I okay? Despite the b.s. that I have to deal with on a day to day basis, i.e., over bearing bosses, crappy officemates, work hazard, guys who detest my being high maintenance (excuse me, I’m not high maintenance–they’re just cheap and lazy), runaway inflation rate– I think I am okay. The fact that I am able to survive the b.s. makes me okay. The little joys– shopping and endless chismisan with the girls, a scoop of pistachio ice cream, getting to laugh out loud and sing and dance with Mac, family time–make me look forward to surviving.
9) hmm… I still don’t know how to end my posts with elan. haha.
i was waiting for the local late night news when i saw the sneak peek of aga muhlach and anne curtis’s new movie.
chargen: does passion end when commitment begins?
mid shot of aga telling anne: the problem with you is, you don’t seem to really care.
close up shot of anne: kaya ayoko ng relationship, kasi you end up hurting each other.
pan out: when love begins.
april 30, 2008.
interesting.
i hope the movie has answers.
mood: dejavu
i don’t need to know how…
i don’t need to know why…
i don’t want to promise…
i don’t want to lie….
but then i did.
i know now.
i broke a promise.
i lied.
and i’m sorry.
(the world of pretend again– for now. thanks to harper’s bazaar feb.2008.)
What
do you know, it’s only the second week of 2008– barely a year after
the mid term elections and more than two years before juan dela cruz’s
children aged 18 and above troop back to the polling precincts– and I
am already choking on motherhood statements, grandstanding and
mudslinging– courtesy of the several malacanang wannabes– err…
hopefuls.
So who’s tired of third world archipelago politics? I am.
So off to Estados Unidos I went for my birthday. Which explains the absence of a year-ender and a birthday post.
it’s the second day of the year.
nine days before my birthday. (shameless plug i know, you can start sending gifts. NOW.)
holidays after math:
gainers:
-my peso being able to buy more dollars
-my mid torso, my thighs and my arms. i am 10 whopping lbs heavier (aw gad– now i have to lose 30 lbs to get to my ideal weight).
losers:
-my bank account. wrung dry. (so help me God.)
-my skin. which has a gazillion rashes— no thanks to that olay total (side) effects that i bought in macau.
-the sellers at the night market along tung choi, whom i terrorized with my cold and merciless haggling.
-those good looking chinese men who didn’t get to talk to me because they don’t speak english. (or is it the other way around?)
-that lacoste accessory outlet that is suppose to exist somewhere near st. paul’s ruins, which i didn’t find. too bad, i was suppose to raid– err– buy all its bags.
excuse my verbal diarrhea.
i wanted to say happy new year. but that won’t be enough.
so let me just borrow from my ex-boyfriend, neil, who in his blog wrote:
May your coming year be filled with magic
and dreams and good madness. I hope
you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
but it was different last night. i was willing to give this person a professorial lecture on why i have two letters and two periods for a first name and how the church and government accepted it and how people have been harassing me since kindergarten (that was 13 years ago) because of my name. and oh yeah, about other things, like my parents’ phone number in case he decides to ask my hand in marriage.
it’s 3:39 AM, november 18.
and i am cramming like hell.
realizing that i have so many things that i didn’t get to do the past 10 months and i am still hoping to get them all done before the year ends.
got classes the whole week next week. got some charity work on the weekend.
need to come up with my christmas gift list.
need to find a coat for my trip.
need to finish papers and lectures.
need to visit /have dinner/have coffee/say hello to a coupla people.
ay-ayay.
gotta get a grip.
i was suppose to have late lunch at glorietta today.
but
updating my blog took time this morning. by the time i was done with my
jake gyllenhaal and jennifer aniston entries, i was having second
thoughts on whether i should still go to my all-time favorite sandbox,
or just go to megamall and check out the sale.
while
i was in the shower though, i remembered the flats at sapato manila and
decided to just go to powerplant. by the time i got out of the shower,
my phone had four messages telling me that there was an explosion at
glorietta.
i hurriedly
went online to check the news. first theory was that, an LPG tank
exploded at the kitchen of luk yuen. two people died. i thought– it
was just an accident and i had nothing to worry about.
so off to powerplant i went.
my phone was beeping and ringing non-stop. family and friends were asking where i was and if i was okay.
haha. my reputation as someone who has sold her soul to the mall tycoons has indeed been etched on many people’s psyche.
so….
my friend and i had been walking around the ledge for ten minutes, trying to decide what we wanted for dinner.
well actually, he had already decided what he wanted. but, i didn’t want to eat at claw daddy because i’m too freaking lazy to eat crabs.
"cyma na lang tayo." i said.
"don’t you get tired of eating there? ayoko. fish & co na lang."
"nyay. hmm… baka hindi masarap dun…"
"you have to try it kasi. i love that resto…."
"i’m tired, i’m hungry, i’m not feeling too adventurous right now."
"g.h., please."
"what?"
"come on. decide. anywhere except cyma, cpk and sumo san."
"coffee na lang nga tayo."
"you know what, dinner lang to. andami dami mong arte."
"excuse me…."
"ang arte mo…."
"me? maarte? no way!"
"fish & co. na lang tayo."
"why the seafood obsession?"
"i’m cutting on red meat and carbo."
"ah… so parang seafood diet ka ngayon?"
"how does that diet work?"
"eh di you eat everything you see. see-food diet. haha."
"i’m so glad we’re just friends."
"me too…"
